Self-Compassion For The Heart: Giving Ourselves the Gift of Being and Having Enough

We Have Enough

A six-year-old Dominican girl cried out to her father, when a boy about her age asked if he could have the head of the fish she had finished eating.  Growing up in America she had never known hunger like this.  Her father said, “Share the rest of the fish with this boy.  We have enough.”  Later that day, the little girl noticed an aggrieved mother crying over the death of her son, and begging passersby for funeral costs.  The father gave his daughter some of their grocery money for the day to give to this woman, and when the daughter expressed concern, he said “Don’t worry we have enough.”

Later that night, they sat outside eating and counting the stars, and he noticed a family nearby doing the same thing, but shivering in the cold.  He asked his daughter to give the family one of their blankets.  The family said they could not possibly take the blanket, and the little girl replied, “Do not worry, we have enough.”

Self-Compassion For The Heart

How many times do we worry that we do not have enough?  We think of all the things we lack, and begin to feel sad, disappointed, scared, afraid, and a little lost.  We wonder what mistakes we have made along the way, and worry that we will not be able to take care of ourselves or our families the way we should.  Do we really become happier when we have more or do we begin to think of the next thing we need to truly feel secure?  With all this chasing and worrying, when do we get to feel well?  When do we get to feel good enough?

The above story is an amended story from a good friend of mine, who took his daughter to the Dominican Republic for the first time.  She was awestruck by the children and families, who lacked the fundamental needs required to survive.  She was scared then saddened by the little boy, who asked for her fish head, but that suffering gave her potentially the greatest gift of her life.  She realized that she had enough, and probably always would.  Now, whenever she worries so much that her heart hurts, she remembers that she has enough.  Her father calls this Self-Compassion For The Heart.

The Invaluable Gifts of A Life Lived With Kindness

One of the most important parts of Self-Compassion Psychology is realizing that we have enough, and are enough by our very nature.  To live a meaningful, gratifying life, we simply need to be true to our core values and be kind to ourselves.  Living by these principles inspires others to do the same, which magnifies the possibility of well-being in the world. 

The Mother Teresa’s, The Ghandi’s, and the Martin Luther King’s of this world reached a much wider audience by the way they lived their lives than they ever could have by telling other people how to live theirs.  In comparison to how many people they touched with their work, the actual number of people they encountered was quite small, but they lived so committed to kindness that you cannot help but be inspired by their stories.  In this, we take refuge.  May our small story of kindness and commitment to our core values be enough for us, and for others.

365 Days of Kindness.  Self-Compassion.  Day 103.  In The Books.