Using Self-Compassion To Find Your Motivation And Fulfill Your Dreams


Motivation is the single greatest killer of most people’s dreams.  Well, lack of motivation is.  People get stirred up in conversation, or in watching a movie, hearing a sing, or watching someone perform live, and they say to themselves, “Yes!  That is exactly what I am going to do with my life!”  They may even call friends and family, and make posts to social media.  Nevertheless, when that alarm clock sounds off in the morning, they go about their daily routine, and slowly the dream that gave hope has become the dream that takes hope away.  All the while, they were missing that thing called motivation.

The funny thing is that people talk about motivation like it is a gene or perhaps a novelty we might purchase at some distant bazaar.  Motivation is none of this.  Motivation is an action.  Motivation is the will to risk everything for one thing.  Motivation is the will to watch the life you know die to get the dream life that you have yet to create.

The Dream

When I am obliged to help people with motivation, I ask them to describe their dream.  For this dream to have any chance, the dreamer must be able to describe it with great detail, great enthusiasm, and a plan. When I bring this up, some people become frustrated, and attempt to bargain their way out of this process.  Do I really need to know exactly what the dream is?  Why do I need a plan?  I don’t even have the motivation yet. 

To address these very common concerns, I ask them about the last time they had a craving for a particular food, and were able to acquire it.  They describe the food in great detail.  They provide a multi-step plan.  Then, they express an unwillingness to settle for anything less.  Sometimes, I am required to compare this to their dream, but most of them have a handle on it by the end. 

If you want something, you must imagine it with as much detail as possible so that you have a reference for finding it, but also so that you have stirred up your sensibilities to the point that you feel you must have it.  Any dream worth having will come with obstacles.  You have to be willing to fight for it.  Like any fight, you cannot go in there willy nilly throwing your hands around like one of those blow up dolls by the car dealerships.  The competition will knock you out.  You need savvy.  Dream savvy requires a plan.  Finally, you have to have great enthusiasm for it because some days you will be tired, hungry, disappointed, and broken. 

On those days, you will need this enthusiasm to compel you to do what is necessary to pursue your dream.  If you have all of that, you will not need to worry about motivation.  It will have been there the whole time.  The more consistently you pursue this dream, the greater your motivation will be because you will see results.  Because these results will likely be slow to manifest, make sure that you have a close-knit support group to examine your dream, and give you pointers and support.  You are only as strong as your team.

Five Self-Compassion Steps To Increase Motivation and Realize Your Dream

Clearly, there is a difference between having and pursuing a dream.  If you have come this far, it is certain that you have decided to pursue your dream.  That’s great!  The world needs active dreamers.  We adore invention, innovation, beauty, and excitement.  Active dreamers give us all four.  To be a successful active dreamer, you are going to need a pirate trunk’s worth of golden pieces of self-compassion.  This is not a problem.

 Just follow these five simple steps:

·      Step 1: Create a picture of your dream, and add people that will support this dream.

·      Step 2: Add a second picture with the reward you will give yourself on each day of this journey.

·      Step 3: Add a third picture of activities that you will do to unplug from your dream work.  It is important to renew your dream pursuing resources.

·      Step 4: Celebrate the daily, weekly, and monthly successes wherever and with whomever possible.

·      Step 5: Be willing to amend your dream in ways that are in keeping with the value you have in mind to give yourself and the world.

Final Thoughts

If you follow the aforementioned philosophy, and remain true to the five steps, you should be well on your way to dream acquisition.  Think of all of the crazy stories you will have in pursuing this dream.  Share these stories with friends.  Realize that the journey may be as gratifying as the dream, and remain present in this journey.  Sometimes, pursuing this dream will be very, very hard.  That is good.  It means that you are on the right track.  None of us can remember pursuing easy dreams.

No matter the difficulty, do not forget your self-compassion practice.  Do not forget to wish yourself ease, or well-being.  Do not forget how capable you are of sitting with difficult moments.  Lastly, do not forget about how many of us love you and are pulling for you every day, even if lately we have not had the time to remind you of this.  We believe in you and your dreams.  May your passage by filled with ease, safety, acceptance, and kindness.

365 Days of Kindness.  Self-Compassion.  Day 111.  In The Books.