We Are All Crazy
An important step in self-compassion is to accept your crazy, and we are all crazy. Everyone has thoughts that differ widely from the norm. Everyone has an abundant imagination. People see, and hear things that are not there, when they are tired. People develop neuroses for how loud or soft they need things to be; how things need to be organized in their own domiciles and even in the world. People tend to be paranoid. Be honest, we all feel like someone is watching us sometimes. We also tend to superimpose our beliefs and thoughts on situations that are a lot simpler than we suspect. Of course, we do. Every single one of us is crazy!
The Fundamental Flaw Of Other Helping Disciplines
The rudimentary mistake made by most other help related disciplines is that their premise requires you to fundamentally change who are to be good enough. Conveniently, they leave out for whom you will be good enough, and how you will know when this day comes. Clearly, because this day is not coming, but if you buy three more of their books or go to four more coaching sessions, you just might see the light at the end of the tunnel. Do not worry. If you cannot see it yet, simply come back for more.
Self-Compassion For Your Crazy
Self-Compassion understands that to be happy you must accept your whole self. You must take a look at your crazy, Kleenex hoarding, obsessive email checking, celebrity stalking, fad diet following, paranoid, self-obsessed, caffeine imbibed self, and say I love you. You are not perfect, but I love you anyway.
Sure, you drive the mailman mad by asking him about mail that you know is not coming for another week. Of course, you annoy the coffee shop girl, who you are sure has put a little too much cream or sugar in your coffee that you want as explicitly as you have described it. You probably could have gone without going through your boyfriend or girlfriend’s phone. Still you must turn to yourself, and say I love you.
Accept Your Crazy Now
Although I am not Christian, in one of my favorite Christian stories, there is a man preparing his house for God, and three times during the day people show up, and ask him for something. Well, he chases them away to get the house ready only to find himself waiting in vain at the end of the day. He asks God, “Why have you asked me to prepare my house, if you were never going to come?” God replies, “What are you talking about? I have already been there three times today!”
You cannot wait until you think you are good enough to accept yourself, and give yourself kindness. You must accept yourself now. There may be things you want to change about the way that you live your life or goals that you want to achieve, but the self underneath all of those accomplishments will always be good enough.
Check-in with that person now, and give them a hug the size of the Chrysler Building. If you want to be happy, you must accept yourself. Who cares if your family or friends want you to be 20 billion other people? They have no control over your happiness. They clearly need their own self-compassion. You possess the only keys to your happiness. Be kind to yourself now.
The Difference Between The Content And The Malcontent
The only difference between people who are most often content and those who are most often discontent is that the former group says, “You know what. Life is going to be crazy no matter what. I am definitely going to make mistakes. So, I am going to choose to love myself, anyway.” Poof! Your level of contentment skyrockets like baking soda out of a paper mache volcano.
For all the doubters out there, I say, “If you had accepted yourself, you would be so contented that you would be spending this moment acknowledging another part of your crazy, instead of wasting one more valuable moment bemoaning something that would actually make you feel better. Feel free to continue with your pessimism. I will love you, anyway.”
Find others who accept your crazy to ensure even more self-acceptance and self-kindness. You know the saying, “One man’s crazy is another man’s good old fashioned love song.” Some of my favorite things about my friends and family are their craziness. It is part of what makes me love them so much. These qualities also allow me to be human, and smooth the path for me to accept my own craziness.
365 Days of Kindness. Self-Compassion. Day 116. In The Books.