You probably do not need self-compassion to define discouraging promises. Discouraging promises are promises made by well-meaning or perhaps not-so-well-meaning people that give us hope that our present and future will be better, brighter, and more reliable somehow. They promise us love. They promise us friendships and romance. They promise us a better job or panaceas for that which ails us. They promise us less debt, more money, and less stress. We get our hopes up, and when these promises eventually fall short we find ourselves discouraged, then pessimistic, and perhaps even depressed.
Solution To Discouraging Promises
There is only one solution to struggling with discouraging promises. Stop struggling. Yes, you heard me. Set up your life with supports that you can count on, with goals that you can reach, and values based on self-evolution and happiness. Strive for these things with all of your might, and if people offer to help, then take them up on that offer, if you trust them, but do not count on these offers to be happy.
Most promises are so big that they can never be realized. We moan and groan about it, but most of us know this to be true. See the promises offered by good people to be based on good intentions, and feel yourself rise with love and support based on the wishes rather than the proposed actions. When these promises come from people, who wish to take advantage of you, notice how misguided their perspective is on life, and have compassion for them, since it is clear that they will need to make quite a transformation to find happiness.
Self-Compassion For Accepting Discouraging Promises
Lastly, we must summon the courage to overcome discouraging promises. That’s right. After everything that I have said, you are still going to take the bait sometimes. We all want so desperately to be happy, when someone offers us a short cut or simply a helping hand, we are vulnerable to saying yes no matter what the cost. Sometimes, you are going to make the wrong decision and say yes, when you probably should have said no.
Have some compassion for yourself. Remind yourself of how hard life has been, of how natural it is to not want to suffer. Forgive yourself, and remember that you are a resilient, very capable, and courageous person, who is willing to do the work and find the positive supports necessary to endure hard times, and to enjoy the times that fill us with warmth and ease.
365 Days Of Self-Compassion. Day 160. In The Books.