Bills, Bills, Bills
Some days, it seems that self-compassion was made for bills. It is never the bills you anticipate, but rather those you do not that send you over the edge. This is probably why they use the word financially stable, it is a clever way of saying that you have managed to keep your balance (read: stability), despite the multitude of bills that try to send you crashing down. As with all things that leave us feeling helpless at times, the worst thing you can do is begin to ruminate on them, and criticize yourself for failing to meet some lofty, unreachable standard.
When we are feeling overwhelmed, we must turn to self-compassion. We acknowledge the feeling. We notice where we feel it in our body, and soften around it. We let out the air we have been holding in due to frustration and anxiety. We name the thought, feeling, or bodily sensation, and let it go. Then, we do something really kind for our self. Of course, we do! Because bills stink, and though they are necessary, if they are going to stink up the joint, we are at least going to light a scented candle. Scented candles do wonders for your bathroom. Imagine what scented candles (read: kindness) could do for your heart.
Yes, it would be better to make the bills go away, but the truth is that you will develop an action plan, and figure out how to pay them down. You are resilient. You are a survivor. You know how I know? Because you are not dead. If you are part of the undead, and you are reading this, then I applaud you even more! Even death did not stop you from learning more about self-compassion.
Responding To Stress Before We Experience It In Excess
As noted in a previous entry, it is important to be able to sense the danger of overwhelm on the horizon, so that you can meet it before it gets to be too great. This is why we make contact with our body to respond to our stress. It allows us to direct our energy towards acknowledging, and reducing stress, while giving us the warning signs for when this stress comes back. So, when the stress is coming, our body will say, “Hey! Remember that stress we had the other day. Well, here we go again!” Then, you can address this experience with self-compassion, when it is just a few rocks before it becomes a mountain. I do not know about you, but I jump over rocks all time. Mountains are a little harder.
To The Bills, We Say…
So, to the bills we say, “Thank you for teaching me about self-compassion. I wish you would pay yourselves, but since you will not, I will do so. Sometimes, I will do this with regret, and other times I will do so with a feeling of accomplishment. Either way, I will do it, but when you are overwhelming I will give myself some kindness first. For there will never be any earthly reason to not take great care of myself.”
Then, you may still be annoyed about your bills, but you will be full of love too. In my experience, love seems to win these wars, mostly because love can sing, dance, and thrill you, and the only thing bills can do is annoy you. That match up is unfair at best. Wishing you much self-compassion and ease whether your bill pile is small like a pile of rocks, or big like the Himalayas.
365 Days Of Self-Compassion. Day 147. In The Books.