Self-Compassion is probably most valuable as a modality that allows us to be whole, and enough simply as we are. Whether we are sad, disappointed, angry, afraid, anxious, happy, joyful, or excited, according to self-compassion, we are enough. Each feeling and emotion is something that we come by naturally, and necessary for the epiphanies and relationships that come with having a full life. At the very heart of all this humanity is the experience of feeling completely helpless.
Being Helpless Can Be A Good Thing?
Being helpless sounds like a terrible thing to most people. The movies tell us to be superheroes. Feeling helpless is an awful feeling. How could it possibly be helpful? The longest time most of us can remember being helpless for is our childhood. We were so needy, but if we had good parents, or one good parent or caretaker, our helplessness was enough for them. They actually appreciated it. They wanted to be needed, and were gratified by their successes in helping us feel accepted, loved, and cared for.
The Value Of Being Completely Helpless
We either have that good early parental experience, or we seek it as adults. Either way, we are smart enough to recognize that it is important to be loved unconditionally, and to find people who are safe enough and love us enough to be there, when we are completely helpless. If they can show up for us, then we know that they can be trusted, and our relationship with them deepens.
It is no different in our own minds. If you can feel completely helpless, and still be willing to give yourself compassion and kindness, then you can be sure that you can trust yourself, and your loving relationship with yourself will deepen.
Of course, I am not saying that you should make yourself helpless all of the time. You do not want to ask so much of yourself on a consistent basis, if it is not necessary, but when it does happen, and it happens for all of us, see it as an opportunity to give yourself the greatest unconditional love you can. Your efforts will be rewarded both by extraordinary self-compassion powers moving forward, but also the self-knowledge that you can, in fact, endure all things.
Because the rewards are obvious, I will not waste your time with a litany of descriptors. Instead, I will wish you compassion and kindness, especially when you feel helpless. Whether you know it or not, you deserve complete self-acceptance. The kind of acceptance that makes managing less troubling experiences that much easier.
365 Days Of Self-Compassion. Day 151. In The Books.