The Short And Long Term Rewards Of Self-Compassion Practice
Self-Compassion is not honed in a day, but what you do today to promote self-compassion will eventually help you develop robust self-compassion skills. Each time you work on responding to your experience mindfully and with compassion, certain subtleties are revealed to you, and you increase your mind’s awareness of the potential for self-compassion, when adversity arises.
There are the immediate rewards of daily self-compassion (e.g., the ability to tolerate stress and unwanted feelings, and a sense of temporary well-being), but also the long-term rewards of performing self-compassion with greater skill, and choosing self-compassion over self-criticism consistently. Most of us are quick to point the finger at ourselves, and this takes a toll on us. The benefits of being able to respond with kindness and understanding are clear from this observation.
Reading the title may have led you to ask certain questions. Isn’t self-compassion available to everyone? If so, how is it elitist? Self-Compassion is not exclusive, but it takes staying power and commitment to work on self-compassion every day. Consequently, the few people with the willingness and zeal to stick with it become part of an elite club of self-compassion practitioners, who have stacked months or even years of self-compassion daily rewards.
Stacking Self-Compassion Rewards
As with most things, daily self-compassion practitioners benefit from their consistent efforts. These benefits include an increased ability to tolerate difficulty, an increased awareness of their needs and skills, greater flexibility in their work and relationships, more energy and love available for their work and relationships, and the totality of the aforementioned benefits leads to more success at work and in relationships.
Much like those that scoff at commitment to things like healthy diets, a good workout regiment, dedication to work, family, friends, music, woodworking, and other passions, they will have a tendency to doubt the long-term benefits of practicing self-compassion. “Can’t anyone do it?” They will say. The good answer is that anyone can, but everyone does not. It is not very realistic to believe you are owed the benefits of someone else’s practice simply because you want them. It is equally unrealistic to believe that you will not get these benefits, if you practice self-compassion often.
Persisting In Our Pursuit of Elite Self-Compassion Despite The Haters
I once worked with someone, who felt that she deserved very little from the world. She had achieved much, but always seemed to surround herself with people, who told her that the only reason for her achievements was her hard work. So, she was taken a back the day that I asked her if it was not unreasonable to think that her friends were jealous because they lacked her work ethic. This was a transformative moment for her. She cried silent tears before acknowledging that she deserved the credit and the benefits that came with her hard fought efforts.
In my experience, I have actually found that people, who dwell in jealousy or avoidance of something they want seem to suffer much more than those people, who simply pursue the things they desire. So, I hope you will commit to stacking your daily self-compassion rewards, and become an elite self-compassion club member. More ease, success at work and in relationships, and a clearer sense of who you are and what you want await you. Don’t let jealousy or a little work get in your way.
Fighting For Elite Self-Compassion Club Membership
Buy yourself one of those little date books, and mark each day with a check or a heart to show that you have practiced self-compassion once a day. Compare your relationships, work, and your sense of self at the end of every month. See for yourself if the rewards have not started to pile up. Find some way to celebrate your successes. It is easy to replicate actions we celebrate, and we are more resilient to defeat, when we are in pursuit of becoming elite. Never stop fighting. You will make it.
365 Days Of Self-Compassion. Day 152. In The Books.