Self-Compassion For Everyone
The 365 Days of Self-Compassion blog was started 176 days ago, and, in this time, it has garnered interest from people around the world. Having a readership that spans the globe means that I have the good fortune of getting messages, and sometimes fielding questions from people that come from a variety of different cultures, traditions, worries, hopes, and dreams. A question that has stood out over this time is: Who gets the self-compassion?
It is easy to reply that everyone can have self-compassion, but that would not be a complete answer to this question. Behind this question are three more direct questions. Am I deserving of self-compassion? Am I capable of generating self-compassion? Why don’t I have self-compassion already?
Am I Deserving Of Self-Compassion?
In a world that organizes itself by defining what is bad and what is good, we have so many opportunities to feel unworthy of self-compassion. We have all done “bad things,” have had “bad friends,” and dated “bad people.” Believing that only good people get good things leaves us feeling like unqualified self-compassion recipients. Fortunately, self-compassion practice has no use for terms like good and bad, and instead acknowledges that we all have parts of our character, experiences, and relationships of which we are not proud. It also recognizes that this humanness gives us great reasons to practice self-compassion.
Am I Capable Of Self-Compassion?
All people are capable of self-compassion, especially the self-critical. It seems like the two should not go together, but self-criticism is actually the perfect opportunity to be self-compassionate. In fact, the more self-critical you are, the more self-compassionate you will probably become. If you follow inspirational leaders, people who have changed the world for the better, you will notice that nearly all of them have had a very difficult past. Perhaps they would not have worked so hard to make the world a better place, if the world they knew was better. So, remember, no matter how hard you are on yourself, you have great potential to be a successful self-compassion practitioner!
Why Don’t I Have Self-Compassion Already?
This is a fun question to answer because it is so good for people to know that there are many other people, who struggle like they do. All people struggle to practice self-compassion some of the time, and most people struggle to practice self-compassion nearly all the time. The reason is pretty simple. The world is a difficult place, and we spend most of our time trying to toughen people up to prepare them for the next obstacle. It is no wonder we lack self-compassion! Additionally, our peer groups tend to be unaware of self-compassion practice, and there are still very few self-compassion teachers.
Fear not. If you practice self-compassion, when you can, then you will feed that starving heart of yours, and your example will draw similarly minded people to you, which will reinforce this work. Pretty soon, you will have enough self-compassion for you and other people. There is no amount of suffering necessary to practice self-compassion, so why not practice it all the time. What do you have to lose? Self-criticism? Self-criticism is overrated. Follow your heart instead, but only if you want to live an inspiring, meaningful life of joy and ease. If you want to live a terrible life, best to stick with self-criticism!
365 Days Of Self-Compassion. Day 177. In The Books.