What Am I So Afraid Of?

Wishing For Different

Sure, self-compassion can help me, when I am already down, but what about when I am just afraid to live my life the way I want to?

Every day people look at their lives, and wish there was something different about them.  They think about their jobs, their relationships, their health, their hopes, and their dreams.  Deep down inside, they just want to feel at home in their bodies, be inspired by their lives, and feel loved by those they admire most. 

These wishes come with unique challenges.  To find inspiration, you must seek out and immerse yourself in what fills your heart and opens your mind.  To feel at home in your body, you must commit to self-understanding, forgiveness, and acceptance.  And, if you truly desire to be loved by those you admire most, you must first love and admire yourself.

The Catch

You can have all of these things, but there is a catch.  The catch is that you must act.  Most people are afraid of action because they worry that they will fail.  Yet, it is not the failure, but rather the worry that keeps most people from having their ideal life.  What if I fail?  What if people judge me?  What if I look stupid?  What if I work really hard, and have nothing to show for it?

After all of the hard work of considering the “what ifs,” people need a break, and find a diversion to drive the stress away.  This makes sense.  If you work really hard, then you need a break, but why do people spend so much time working on worry?

People worry for two reasons.  First, people have way too many options.  If you only had one option, you would not need to worry.  You would just do that thing.  Today, there are so many possible ways to live your life that people have become indecisive, anxious, and stressed.  Second, social media and technology have made it possible for people to both film and satirize your life.  Ever seen a fail video?  You know who those videos do not help?  Every single person, who has a dream that worries about failing, which ps. is most people.

A Quick Exercise To Minimize Worry, And Maximize Your Life Wishes

So, how do we minimize worry, and maximize your wishes for inspiration, health, and love?  We do two things.  First, we accept failure with self-compassion.  Failure is a necessary part of living a great life.  Since I cannot know exactly what is necessary to live a full life, I will have to make some well-intentioned mistakes along the way to figure out where I need to go, and what I need to do.  Second, imagine the future you, 10 years, 20 years, 30 years down the line, and make compassionate choices that serve that person.  In other words, the goal of self-compassion is to be able to be kind to the you that is living right now, but in the meantime take the bridge of helping somebody else (which always seems easier), and help future you.

Future You

Future you does not care so much about what the people around you think.  Future you knows that the people, who love you want you to be what makes you happy.  If you want to live out your days as a dinosaur, do it!  We will love you anyway.  The purpose of life is to live it fully.  Criticism is about avoiding life by focusing on someone or something else.  Notice, but do not be distracted by the critics.  If they understood life, then they would be focused on their own.  Make it your goal to love and cherish yourself and your supporters so much that when you face the question of embracing a life well-lived, you can say with a wry smile, “So what am I so afraid of?” 

365 Days Of Self-Compassion.  Day 183.  In The Books.