Our Fear Of Boredom
Sometimes, we need self-compassion for things that would surprise you. Our fear of boredom would be a good example of this.
Think about it. We spend a lot of our life trying to entertain or hoping to be entertained. We fear boredom, and the judgment of others. We ask ourselves questions like, “What if I am stuck doing this mindless thing forever?” or “What if I don’t do anything interesting, and have nothing to share on social media?”
These are real fears. We actually stress over feeling good, and then stress equally about not feeling good enough. It makes you wonder how we manage to find any time to relax, when we are stressing all of the time about disappointing ourselves and others. Not to mention the stress of feeling like you have to remain in planning mode to live an acceptable life.
I don’t know about you, but even that paragraph annoyed me. So, you see, there is a difference between actually feeling good (time without stress, living with ease), and what we and other people project to be feeling good (anxious planning around entertainment and social media). You cannot avoid the world, so you are going to have to find time for both. You want to do just enough for entertainment and social media that you do not feel crazy, or judged, while making time to simply enjoy whatever you are doing without trying to make it something spectacular.
Most people enjoy a good walk or a nice conversation with a friend, but it is hard to share such activities on Facebook or Twitter. “Hey just had a great time walking,” or “Had a really great conversation with Julie.” It is possible to share such information, but we would rather quote the skydiving instructor or the concert musician. So, how do we make time to do the things that recharge and serve only our well-being, and how do we make time to engage in activities that entertain others?
Making Space Just For You
First, you must start with self-compassion. You have to acknowledge that you come by your desire to entertain yourself and others naturally, but that it is also exhausting to live life that way. Then, you can ask yourself with sincerity what activity would make you feel really good that you could have just for yourself. Hey, sometimes it’s wise to be a little selfish. If you are completely self-less, there will be no self left to enjoy life or others. So, once you have chosen an activity, plan a time where you are sure you can focus on it uniquely, and allow yourself to recharge. Then, do it! You can thank me later, or better yet, you can thank yourself later.
If you are still worried about your social media presence, then plan one thing you can photograph or mention a day. You would be surprised how much attention a quick photo or quote can get if you pick the right thing. Here are can’t misses: a photo of an animal, a sunrise, a sundown, food, coffee, the gym, children, cars, and quotes about one subtle change you have made today that has gotten you excited (e.g., tea, coffee, food, clothing, mentality, plan to travel, etc.) Remember, simple is always better. People just want something to like or retweet that makes them feel good, and valuable.
365 Days Of Self-Compassion. Day 188. In The Books.