No Fluff In Self-Compassion
One of the many benefits of self-compassion practice is that there is literally no fluff. You have a practice. You participate in the practice. You have very measurable results (level of stress as explained by heart rate, rate of breathing, and somatic features). There is no magic to it. And, it does not hide behind a mirage of complicated psychological jargon. That said, saying you practice self-compassion without understanding how it works or its techniques will have a strong effect on your results. I try to see my side of things or I let things go when I can is not exactly self-compassion. So, you have to really want a better life to use the simple, but effective process of self-compassion. Continuing this practice is a different story.
Don’t Be Beat By Unrealistic Standards
The number one reason people have trouble practicing self-compassion with consistency is that they set their standards too high. They either hear about the benefits experienced by someone else, or have one day of tremendous results, and then expect to have these same results every day. But, self-compassion practice, like anything else you work on, will not yield the same results every day. Your effort, the day’s burden, how long you have been practicing, and several other factors affect your daily outcome.
But, self-compassion practice does not require fireworks with respect to well-being gains every day because it is a cumulative process. Albeit not always being apparent, your practice of self-compassion today has a strong effect on your overall well-being, and your capacity to practice self-compassion tomorrow. As stated in another entry, it is much harder to stop something you do consistently than to start a practice back up after several days off. It is simply a matter of basic inertia.
Overcoming Unrealistic Standards To Practice Self-Compassion
So, you need to have self-compassion for your self-compassion practice, and have some faith that you are doing enough simply by practicing. You would be amazed at the change in results once you stop focusing on the outcome anyway. It is always easier to feel better if you do what you can to recover, and let the actual recovery process take its time than it is to try to compel yourself to better health. It has something to do with the strain you put on yourself, and how that interferes with the energy and focus required for curative measures.
So, make a deal with yourself to practice self-compassion because you want a good life, and believe in taking caring of yourself. This value, in itself, will empower you to make better decisions in your life. In a related affair, there have been many reports that it is much easier to eat healthier, when you are going to the gym consistently than when you are not. Of course, you probably have motivation to look good in your snazzy gym clothes, but there is also the implicit wish to be healthier that is being reinforced by the explicit effort to go to the gym. Wishing you many days of self-compassion, and the wisdom to not let the high standards that you come by naturally get in the way of an inspiring, daily practice.
365 Days Of Self-Compassion. Day 196. In The Books.