We need self-compassion for the things we regret, might regret, and the things we might not regret. Though it only has a measly six letters, the word regret is a scary thing for most people. Regret means that they have lost something valuable, and if we dig even deeper, we would notice that that loss tells the person that they are unworthy of a good life or perhaps destined to lose. Fore example, people regret not investing in companies that become successful. They mourn the loss of a missed payday, but they also become transfixed on what that might say about their present and their future. Will they never become financially successful? Will they never be lucky in love? Will they waste their life with poor decisions and indecision?
If you read the title of this entry carefully, you might be saying, “Wait a minute. I thought this was self-compassion for something that I would not regret?” And, you would be right. But, if the title were allowed to be very long it would say, “Having self-compassion for past experiences of regret, so that you have the freedom to try things that you would not regret.” Ironically, having past regrets tends to block pretty safe situations. We become afraid of taking ALL chances, even those that seem to guarantee that we will have no regrets. There are many things that I am still learning, but one lesson that I have learned well is that if you do not take healthy risks, then you will never be able to live fully, and your experience of the world will be diminished as a result.
Eventually, you want to be able to take whatever risks are necessary for you to pursue the things you value the most in the world. However, like most things, it helps to start with the things that pose the least risk, and slowly work your way towards the things that are riskier. To do so, you need some self-compassion for that which you would not regret.
Self-Compassion Visualization For No Regrets
Imagine, if you will, that you are riding on a very comfortable train past lush grass, flowers, and horses grazing in the distance. Notice how at ease you feel. Your body is warm, but not hot. Your mind is aware, but relaxed. Someone brings you a tray of your two favorite foods and asks that you choose one. Suddenly, you become anxious despite your knowledge that you will enjoy either plate. Name this feeling: fear of regret. Notice how you come by it naturally, then notice that you will be happy with either plate. Give yourself self-compassion for that which you would not regret, and simply pick the first of these meals that appeals to you. Partake in this meal, and notice your body and mind return to a sense of ease and fluidity. Give yourself credit for making a decision despite your assurance that you would not regret your choice.
This visualization is a small opportunity to receive self-compassion for things that we would not regret, which allows us to live our life in a full and meaningful way. Try to apply this to your daily life, taking small risks when you can with the goal of taking the risks (big or small) necessary for you to live an inspired and meaningful life. The unbelievable results gained by people willing to start small, and find kind ways to challenge themselves never ceases to amaze me. May you always be amazed by such efforts too!
365 Days Of Self-Compassion. Day 242. In The Books.