What Stands Between You And Happiness
Self-Compassion is an interesting tool for pursuing happiness. It does not demand that you maintain the emotion connected with happiness, nor the stereotype of what that might look like (i.e., gleefully skipping through life with a pocket full of candy, and a smile plastered across your face). Happiness, in self-compassion terms, refers to the state in which you feel that you are and have enough without needing permission from your current emotional experience or access to material resources. It defies time, thought, and concern by not wrestling with or trying to control these things. And yet, happiness is still not given away. You have to fight for it.
Given this version of happiness, you need to know what stands between you and it, if you want to begin this journey. Of course, there are many obstacles you might mention, but the most powerful of these obstacles is acceptance. If you cannot accept that you do not currently feel that who you are and what you have is enough, your journey will be over before it begins. It is a tough pill to swallow, albeit not being tougher than spending the rest of your life pretending to be happy, while knowing deep down inside that you are unsatisfied, and too embarrassed to showcase your true self most of the time.
No One Has Forever
Most people will not attempt this journey. People love to watch others rise to fame, glory, and success, but they do not want to do the every day things that will get them there. How many people wear Michael Jordan’s shoes, and have their own dreams, but pretend like supporting Michael’s is enough? Do not get me wrong, I love Jordans, but mostly because of the silhouette, and because they are reminders that I have my own dreams to pursue, and no time to waste.
Pema Chodron believes that one of the greatest mistakes that we make in pursuing a full, inspiring, meaningful life replete with acceptance is that we fool ourselves into believing that we have forever to accomplish our goals. At one time or another, we have all uttered the infamous words: “I will do it later.” The problem is that later never comes. We are always in the present, hours, days, and even years down the road. So, later tends to be a poor start time.
The Two Essential Things You Need To Successfully Pursue Happiness
So, it is clear that we need two things, if we are to successfully pursue happiness. First, we need to live with a sense of urgency. If you eat, breathe, and sleep something, it will be yours now and forever. If you admire someone else’s work instead, only they will benefit. Second, we must accept that in our current state we are not fully accepting of who we are, how we feel, and what we want. We come by this burden naturally, but also come by an innate desire to live with freedom, self-acceptance, and ease. Pursue happiness with urgency and honesty. Release yourself from the confines of this mysterious “later,” and act now. Acknowledge the burden of not feeling enough with an in-breath, and your profound desire to pursue happiness and self-acceptance anyway with an out-breath.
365 Days Of Self-Compassion. Day 245. In The Books.