We need self-compassion for our need to feel cool. It sounds like a pretty superficial thing, but if there was really nothing to it, then nobody would worry about it. Right? So, why do we need to feel cool? We need to feel cool because we want to be sure that we have enough going for us that we are attractive romantically, platonically, and as potential hires for others. Cool may be something that somebody else made up, but its value is clear in terms of your ability to command the attention, respect, and sometimes the love of others.
The Evolutionary Value Of Cool
Cool people have a skill that others value. They seem to be able to anticipate popular trends, and have a knack for entertaining people. Thousands of years ago, the cool people were probably the warriors because they kept people fed and safe from violent attackers. In our present time, cool people are fashionable, artistic, entertaining people because they keep us safe from social attackers, and our flaws. One of the hardest things to do as a human is to apologize for simply trying to enjoy your life. We envy cool people because they live unapologetically, which makes us want to be cool too.
The Burden Of Cool
Despite all of these great cool people traits, this coolness can be a burden. It’s a burden for the people, who are deemed not cool. It is an aggravation for people, who have a full life, and have little time for trends. If you are paying off a car, a house, working a full time job, and are in a relationship, you have too much going on to focus on what’s cool. And, still, you wish you were.
Self-Compassion For Our Need To Be Cool
So, let’s take a moment to give ourselves self-compassion for our need to be cool. First, acknowledge the feeling, and name it. Second, notice the areas of your body that are tense, and soften around these parts. Third, notice how you have come by these feelings naturally. Being cool saves me from bullying, and makes other people want to be around me, and it’s hard when I don’t have any time to cultivate it. Fourth, bring kindness and compassion to your experience. I am by my vey nature good enough. The positive people I want in my life will be attracted to me because I am a passionate person, who chases down my dreams. How can I be kind to myself right in this very moment?
Cool or not, you are more than enough. One person’s cool is another person’s dork, anyway. Not to mention the fact that sometimes it is really cool to be dorky. If you want to live a good life, just be sure to surround yourself with people, who support your journey to be the most sincere, fulfilled you possible. What could be cooler than that?
365 Days Of Self-Compassion. Day 259. In The Books.