A Great Epiphany
No more stress, only compassion is a mantra one of my patients adopted because he was tired of feeling stressed about everything. It was a great epiphany. How many of us stress about something potentially important only to find ourselves, moments later, stressing about unimportant stuff? You may be really upset that there are never enough blue m&m’s, but does it have to hijack your well-being for the day? It’s not just the m&m’s. It’s the audacity of the guy in front of you to paint his car pink, or his aged female passenger who bedazzled her phone. You bite your lip at the person, who dares to walk diagonally rather than horizontally across the street, finally losing it when the cashier licks her finger as she counts each bill of your change. I agree that the last example is not hygienic, but probably no worse than where that money has already been.
You Got To Care About The Right Stuff
It’s important to care, but as my old boxing coach, Tommy Connors says, “You got to care about the right stuff.” He wanted me to focus on training exercises that directly translated to ring performance, but it is great advice for our daily lives. You only have so much energy and focus. If it is used up on events that are not directly related to increasing the quality of your life or the quality of other’s lives, then it is time wasted. Or in Tommy’s words, “See how well that fancy stuff helps you, while the other guys is clobbering you.”
The mantra is both a great mindfulness and self-compassion technique because a. it brings you back to the present, and b. it reminds you that a life worth living comes from values steeped in self-compassion. If you are thinking self-compassionately, you will zero in on the values that help you and others live good lives. This, in turn, will help you let go of the need to attend to unnecessary distractions. Sometimes, it’s good to be selfish. No more stress, only compassion.
365 Days Of Self-Compassion. Day 264. In The Books.