Using Self-Compassion To Overcome The Scrutiny Of Others To Do What You Love.
Scrutiny
One surprising use of Self-Compassion is the ability to live the life we desire, while under the scrutiny of others. Be honest. There is a job, a hobby, maybe just a garment of clothing that you are dying to try, but you don’t because you are afraid of what people will think. It makes you sad that you are not living your life as fully as you would like, but you are reassured by the safety you feel in not making yourself vulnerable to judgment.
Self-Conscious
Personally, I love to box, but I am self-conscious about my technique, at times, since I have high expectations, and am so passionate about it. Some days, it is hard to work the mitts with someone else, or work the heavy bag because I know more seasoned boxers than myself are watching. Years ago, I might have found one part of it that I was good at it, and stuck to that, safely hidden from scrutiny, but some part of me would be sad. The longing to practice what I loved freely, passionately, and without reservation would sit like a rock in my heart.
Using Self-Compassion To Do What You Love
Fortunately, I have been practicing meditation and self-compassion for so long that I am aware of what is at stake. I have repeated the self-compassion phrases may you be safe, may you be free, may you be kind to yourself, may you accept yourself just as you are so many times that I believe them. I know I am the happiest, when I keep them in mind, and the unhappiest when I hide to avoid the judgment of others.
With this knowledge, I am also very careful to pick very important people that I trust to support this work. I am human just like you. Some weeks I want to hide, but I don’t. Instead, I lean on my supports and my self-compassion practice, and simply do it anyway. It is not always pretty, but that is the thing, it does not need to be. Allowing my supports to show up for me gives me greater faith in the world, and it allows those supports to give themselves permission to receive help from me when they need it. If you can see it, on my path there has been a subtle transformation from the need to hide yielding only disappointment and sadness to a need to hide that yields faith in others and myself.
Have Faith
Trust your own journey, and when there is something that you desire deeply to do, put one foot in front of the other. Recite the self-compassion phrases to yourself. Incline gently into your birthright to be happy, and free. Use this as an opportunity to find supports on your journey. Be very picky about whom you choose, and promise yourself that you will help them in return if given a chance. Slowly but surely you will begin to have more faith in yourself, others, and the world.
365 Days Of Self-Compassion. Day 205. In The Books.