If You Truly Desire To Be Of Service To Others, Serve Yourself First!
Threshold For Self-Compassion
There is no threshold for self-compassion, and if there was, it would be existing amongst the living. Life is hard, and to endure it with focus, meaning, sincerity, and ease, we need to be able to practice self-compassion. When times are not so tough, it is not that difficult for people to understand this, but somehow when there are terrible things happening in the world, people bring out this sliding scale for self-compassion. According to this sliding scale, if your degree of suffering does not equal that of others, then you can not in good faith practice self-compassion.
Fairness
I understand that people believe in fairness, and want to give the appropriate credit to those people, who suffer tremendously. However, ironically, denying yourself self-compassion is at cross purposes with wishing a better life for people with extraordinary suffering. You can only give what you have in the tank, and if you are not practicing self-compassion, you will actually have less compassion to give to these people. This would be akin to starving yourself to feed those without food. No, by all means, eat so that you have the energy to get these people the proper resources.
Finding The Space For Self-Compassion And Compassion For Others
Our society has long been built on the approval of others, which is unfortunate because other people are as flawed as you, and have no purpose sitting in judgment, but also because life is about living and contributing. Waiting to be judged or judging is simply a distraction from your task. It serves nobody. You want to help others, then go help them. Make sure you are taking amazing care of yourself, so that you can make the biggest impact!
Carrying guilt and causing others guilt is nothing more than procrastination from making a difference. We come by these mistakes naturally because society has functioned as such for so long. So, when you find yourself making this mistake, acknowledge it, remember that you come by it naturally, then by kind to yourself to create space to do the same for others.
Only through self-compassion will you find the strength to follow your path, and give back to others, and only through self-compassion will you find the means to tolerate the great suffering that presents itself, at times. Never forget that the way out of suffering is compassion, and not judgment. Judgment is just a way to vindicate our anger, and give ourselves permission to not give back. Believe in yourself. You are truly capable of doing good for yourself, and others. When judgment shows up, greet it like an old friend, and let it pass with the knowledge that your best efforts in all things have yet to come.
365 Days Of Self-Compassion. Day 200. In The Books.