Five Self-Compassion Steps To Overcome Social Media Rejection

Social Media Rejection

Recently, I learned about a phenomenon called social media rejection, and how much people need self-compassion for it.  Social Media Rejection is the phenomenon in which you lose a significant other, a close friendship, or are left out of social invitations or appreciations via a social media update, as indicated by a new status or picture.

Social Media Rejection is unique in many ways.  It shows up as a public artifact; something that is available to large groups of people, and can be accessed an infinite number of times until it is deleted.  Before social media, the reach of such humiliation was less, and your ability to block it was greater.  It is also much easier for people to get access to you with support, gossip, or feigned support.  Of all of these things, it is the shock of seeing it that many find so upsetting.  Because this information has not come from a direct communication with the source, it feels devious, but also potentially unresolvable.  To put it bluntly, if this person wished to resolve this problem with you, then chances are they would have done it directly.

Sometimes, this rejection is indirect, as is the case, when friends or family of the person rejecting you post the new pictures or statuses.  Their intentions play a role in the effects of their actions, but, overall, the response tends to be the same: sadness, loneliness, and hurt. 

The Motivation Behind Social Media Rejection

Why do people resort to such villainy? They mostly do so because it is easy.  Prior to social media, many people chose to no longer include some people in their friendship groups or broke up with them, by letting the frequency of their communications decline until there were no communications at all.  This strategy of avoidance has not changed.  Again, there is no contact from this person.  What has changed is that people feel that social media documentation is necessary for life events to feel real, so without thinking about the potential side effects of doing so, they post their statuses and pictures like they do on all other days.  Of course, the effects are much different. 

Five Self-Compassion Steps To Overcome Social Media Rejection

So, how can we respond with self-compassion to Social Media Rejection?  The first thing you need to do is to take the day off of social media.  When dealing with an open wound, your initial recourse must be to stop the bleeding.  The second thing you need to do is to contact others for support, so that you are not alone with this feeling.  Rejection is strongest, when its prey is a party of one.  Its power lies in its ability to convince you that you are unlovable, which is greatly diminished by the company of others.  

The third thing you need to do is to label this feeling, and allow yourself to feel it.  This will stop your brain from making this one experience a much bigger problem than it is.  The fourth thing you need to do is to accept that you come by this experience naturally, that you are undeserving of its pain, and let it pass through you. 

Lastly, you want to do something really kind for yourself.  You heard me. Get out of your house, and go some place that you feel loved.  Make sure this place has enough going on to capture your attention in a positive way.  Do not avoid your feelings.  When they show up, they show up.  Simply acknowledge them.  Let them pass, and return to the love you have summoned inside and out.  Never forget that you are more than enough no matter your experience. 

Click here for more information on self-compassion psychology.

365 Days Of Self-Compassion.  Day 255.  In The Books.